Someone had this for a Facebook profile pic. If you copy it, you're trying to kidnap what I've rightfully stolen.

Regrets

I stole this from What Sweeter Music, where it had been posted by Abbi, who had naturally stolen it from Someplace Else.

”That is really amazing,” he said. ”That really is truly amazing. That is so amazingly amazing I think I'd like to steal it.”


MAN IN BLACK: Let me explain...
VIZZINI: There's nothing to explain. You're trying to kidnap what I've rightfully stolen.

If you like this, you'll love despair.com.

More Mom-Type Quotes

Yesterday's post got me thinking about the things parents say. I remembered several things my mother used to say, as well as several things I never thought I'd have to say to my kids. In no particular order:

"Was what you did right?"

"Never put anything smaller than your elbow in your ear."

"Or in your nose."

"I don't care who started it; you stop it now!"

"If you know it will make your brother mad, don't do it. If you know it will make your brother mad and you do it anyway, don't complain to me when he gets mad about it."

"If you put a popcorn kernel in your ear, it will not grow popcorn. It will get you a trip to the emergency room."

"Don't pick your nose. If you do pick your nose, don't wipe it on your brother. And definitely don't try to feed it to your brother. If you do pick your nose and try to feed it to your brother, don't complain to me when he hits you."

"Don't hit your brother. Don't hit your brother and then tattle on him for hitting you back."

"It's just as annoying when you do it."

"Crying never solved a math problem."

"'I can't' never did anything."

We also frequently quote movie lines in appropriate (or inappropriate) situations.

(Can you tell what our favorite movie is?)

"Stop that rhyming, and I mean it!"

"Inconceivable!"

"You're very smart. Now shut up."

"I'm not listening! Nobody's listening!"

"As you wish."

Stop that rhyming, and I mean it!

MB: Do not worry, do not fret.
GL: Do not smoke a cigarette!