EAA AirVenture Oshkosh

Lt (Papa) Bear and Cadet Airman Bear are working the EAA AirVenture Oshkosh. We record the location of every aircraft and track every takeoff and landing. If an aircraft goes missing, we launch a search and rescue mission. How many 12 to 18 year olds get to participate in something like that?

Cadet Bear's Second Orientation Flight

Civil Air Patrol cadets don't just get one free aiplane ride, they get a series of flights, with a syllabus listing what they are expected to learn on each flight.

Here the pilot explains how to inspect an aileron.

Cadet Airman Bear points out the left elevator.

Buckled in and putting on his headset.

Taxiing toward the runway.

It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood!

GL's IEP meeting was Tuesday. There are 13 people on his IEP team, (not counting us) and they were all there except the school OT, who was out having a baby. She called ahead to say she would send her report with the PT, which she did. After each team member went over her report, and gave us the chance to ask questions or make suggestions, we went through the draft version of his IEP. Everything we asked for was in it, and several things we thought of and discussed during the meeting were noted for inclusion in the final IEP.

One thing we insisted on was starting him with one class period per day (this school's class periods are 90 minutes) and working up to a full day. He has been allowed to visit and participate for one class period at a time (twice, so far, with more planned before the end of the school year) and both times, he did well, he enjoyed it, the staff said he was wonderful, but it took so much out of him, he came straight home and slept the rest of the day.

One woman (there were so many people in the room, I had a hard time keeping straight who was who) kept pointing out problems with everyone's ideas. I was beginning to  wonder if she were the school attorney. Then I realized she was the district director of special education. She did bring up some valid concerns, like how are we going to accomplish everything in GL's IEP in 90 minutes a day? She also suggested some workable solutions to these problems, so she wasn't just shooting down everyone's ideas. I think his IEP will be more workable now that we have some of these wrinkles ironed out. His IEP looks very good on paper. I know these things don't always work out as well in practice as they do on paper, but I'm glad we got so many good things written into it.

The meeting lasted three hours. GL offered suggestions when he could, and otherwise sat quietly, listening and doodling on a sheet of paper. He lasted two hours before he needed a break. We all took a five minute break, then a support teacher took him for a walk while we finished the meeting. We were all exhausted when it was done. We went out for lunch. (GL requested Chinese, because he wanted "cranberry goons".) Then we went home and he slept the rest of the day.

BB has been planning to mow lawns this summer to earn money for his CAP activities. (And those incidental expenses, like meals out.) We bought him a lawn mower for his birthday. A rather expensive present, but if it works out, it should save us money in the long run. I assembled the lawnmower Tuesday afternoon, (more complicated, time-consuming and frustrating than it sounds) gave him a quick tutorial, and he practiced mowing our lawn under close supervision. He'd never mowed before. He did pretty well for his first time, but I thought he needed a little more practice before hiring himself out to strangers, so he's mowing for PBP tomorrow.

Wednesday was therapy, and GL's OT commented that he seemed unusually tired. He has a med to be given PRN for anxiety and aggression, but we try not to give it on Wednesdays, because it makes him  tired, decreases his muscle strength, and leads to intention tremors, so his OT can't get any productive work out of him. She wondered if we'd given it. We hadn't. He was still that tired from the day before. She also mentioned that once he starts getting OT from the school, his insurance may stop paying for private therapy.

We've been looking for an outside peer activity with weekly meetings to get him used to interacting with his peers, and hopefully build some social stamina for school. Even when everything is going well, the social aspects of the classroom are harder for him than the academic subjects, assuming those are at a level he can understand. If he'd been in a school classroom up until now, I doubt he would have learned anything. Why enroll him now? Well, he continues to progress, however slowly, in reading and writing, but in other subjects, he appears to have learned all he is capable of learning. If the school can teach him some math, great, but I'm not holding my breath. For him, home was the best environment for academics, and those take priority. Now that those are mostly done, and we feel he is more able to handle the "hidden curriculum" that most students pick up unconsciously, but he has to be explicitly taught, we'll let the school work on socialization, vocational skills, ADLs, recreation, community involvement, safety, and hundreds of others. Not that we have ignored these, but we felt home and the neighborhood, i.e., the real world, were the best place to begin teaching them. Yes, there are a portions of each skill the school can teach best, and now they'll have the chance, but looking back, it's remarkable how small those portions are, and how unimportant they were to his earlier development. Now that he's come so far, they are among the remaining hurdles between now and his post-high school life.

Back to an outside peer activity: there is a Scout troop for people with disabilities forming, and we thought it might fill the need. We attended a meeting tonight. There were five other youth there with their parents. Four of them were far below GL's functional level. The fifth was somewhat above his level, and trying to be the center of attention by being the expert on everything. GL spent most of the meeting acting about half his functional age.

They were working on their first merit badge: Nutrition. The teacher gave a lecture on portion sizes, then passed out crayons and worksheets and pictures of food to color. Then she went around and helped the students color their pictures and do their worksheets. No one but Mr. Expert-on-Everything (who colors perfectly within the lines) was much interested in the lecture or worksheets or coloring. GL did a little paperwork, then got bored and spent the rest of the meeting talking baby talk, intentionally giving wrong answers, and spinning in his swivel chair like it was Disney's latest attraction. He said he had fun, but when I asked him what he enjoyed, he said, "The chair." I did not drive an hour each way so he could spin in a swivel chair. There are plenty of office supply stores closer to home. And the socialization was definitely having a negative effect. Maybe we'll find another activity closer to home that's a better fit. Or maybe we'll just wait for Little League season to start.

Friday night the high school is putting on a program, and the special ed students have a part. We bought tickets. Saturday is a transition seminar. Sunday morning is church, and Sunday afternoon is a community youth theater production of Robin Hood. Several youth from our church are in it, and we are planning to attend. I've thought several times that I must have lost my mind to schedule so many events in one week, but for most of them I didn't have a choice of "when". They were already scheduled, and I had to choose "yes" or "no". I wish I had said "no" to a few more things but, other than Scouts, I'm not sure which ones.

Cadet Bear's First Orientation Flight

Whose Job is it, Anyway?

I love it when blogging turns into a conversation between people with similar goals, but varied experience. I've been discussing curriculum planning both here and in various online forums. I've had a number of helpful answers to various questions, usually about what I expected: I was looking for a way to teach x, and people replied that a, b, or c worked for them. Rebecca Miller surprised me with a blog post of her own in response to one of my more general questions,  What is not working in our homeschooling?

While her post was about her family's experience, it led me to consider some related questions we're dealing with. Every year as I prepare to select the materials we will use, I look over the past year and ask, "What worked? What didn't? and Where do we go from here?" The "What worked?" is obvious; let's build on our successes. The "What didn't?" can mean a variety of things. Maybe a book just didn't live up to its reviews. Maybe it just wasn't a good fit for my child's learning style. Maybe it was just too much to try to cram into our already overstuffed schedule. But there is always the possibility that, much as I'd like to, I can't blame the book. Sometimes my kid didn't put in the effort he should have, or I didn't.

That last one has been a struggle lately. Since my older son has autism, if he isn't putting in the effort, it's up to me to figure out a way to get him to do the work. But my younger son is twelve now, and needs to start learning how to take responsibility for his own work. Yes, it's a gradual process, but he usually doesn't see a need to focus because he has no idea what should be expected of a sixth grader. If it doesn't come naturally, if he has to work at it, he thinks it's too hard, and doesn't see the point of trying.

He has a vague idea that he is ahead in some subjects and behind in others (true), but no clear idea of where he should be in any given subject. We talked about it today, and I asked if he would like a chart of what needs to be done at each grade level between where he is and high school graduation. He said he would. I typed one up this afternoon. It's only a rough outline, listing the subjects he needs to study, and which books we have used / are using / are planning to use, and is subject to revision: As I see his effort and progress, I get a clearer picture of his abilities and what I can reasonably expect of him. I plan to go over it with him tomorrow. We can check off what he's already done, and I hope it will give him a more accurate picture of what he still needs to do. Then we can look at both the knowledge he needs to acquire and the skills he needs to develop, and strategize what to do when.

But I also need to observe him carefully and evaluate when to coax, support, and lead him along and when to let him stand or fall on his own. The ultimate goal is for him to take complete responsibility for his education, labor, and vocation, but what is the best method to foster this independence, and what does it look like at any given moment? How can I best model the ethic I'm trying to teach? As he learns to work more independently, what should I be doing while he's working? Folding laundry?  Reading a worthwhile book? Building model rockets? (educational, but he'd feel I was having all the fun!) Researching curriculum? Randomly browsing the Internet?

And I, too, had found something I could do a few hours a week that brought in a little money to help stretch the family budget, and even cover the costs of some CAP activities. It was only a few hours a week, but it did cut into school time. That opportunity ended, so I'm looking for a replacement. But how to fit it in without school suffering? I'd like BB to start earning some money to pay for his activities, too, and more than I could pay him, but how best to fit it in?

Most teens like to sleep late. Conventional wisdom says they should go to bed earlier. Our boys go to bed early almost every night, and they still sleep late. I don't think many teens or preteens are getting all the sleep they need, but how much is too much? Our school day runs well into the evening. I could get them up earlier, but would they finish earlier, or just be less productive due to a lack of sleep? What is the ideal amount of sleep for these boys, and at what time? How can we find time for the physical exercise they and I need? And what subjects do I cut back on, and how much, when we need to focus in another area?

Don't be discouraged by my having more questions than answers. We are making good progress in many areas. It's balance that's difficult. And I welcome your stories of what worked well for you in a particular area, or how you keep up in one thing without falling behind somewhere else. Because with so many things that need doing, it's hard to know how much of what to do when.

Papa Bear Gets Two Days Off

I don't have a 9-5 Monday-Friday kind of job. It's more like 24/7. And I rarely get a day off. When you need someone to watch an autistic teen, your options are pretty limited, both in number and availability. (Thanks, Mom!) So when I do get a break, how do I spend it? Tramping through the woods, improvising shelter, and searching for missing persons or missing aircraft.

I spent the weekend at Volk Field, getting ground team training with Civil Air Patrol. We covered a lot of ground. (Pun intended.) They divided us into teams, based on our level of training, and assigned us various tasks. Each day we spent about half the day in the classroom, and half in the field. In the field, we practiced line searches, missing person searches, navigating varied terrain by both day and night, signaling aircraft, searching for clues of a crash scene, and organizing a hasty search. We did vehicle inspections, set up site surveillance, and marked out a helicopter landing zone. We tracked and located a distress beacon, which turned out to be in the next county. Out in the woods, we divided into teams of four, and had half an hour to build an improvised shelter that would protect the four of us from wind, rain, and cold, using whatever we had in our packs or could find in the area.

I came back exhausted, but refreshed. I learned everything I needed to move on to the next level, and then some. I kept a special eye out for one cadet who is on the spectrum. It was inspiring to see her overcome her sensory and social challenges and accomplish the task at hand. We put in two days of hard work that would challenge any adult. But our teams were about half adults, and half kids, ages 12 to 18. We had cadets handling every task and position except driving. That's what I like about CAP. There are certain tasks, like driving a van or flying a plane, that only adults are allowed to do, but there are many jobs reserved for adults in other organizations that cadets can do if they complete the necessary training and demonstrate the necessary responsibility. When you start acting like an adult, we'll start treating you like one. And these kids young men and women rose to the challenge.

Note: The above photos are examples of the kinds of tasks we did collected from around the web. I was much to busy to take pictures.

Yes, I do.

Brother Bear is not quite old enough to be a Civil Air Patrol cadet, but he has been coming to meetings with me for a while now. The cadets have been working on radio procedures, including the ICAO spelling alphabet, more commonly known in radio and aviation as the phonetic alphabet. (Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, etc.) He had some trouble remembering the code words, so when he is doing his schoolwork and asks me how to spell something, I spell it in the phonetic alphabet, pausing between codewords so he can keep up. Yesterday, he asked me, "How do you spell India?"
Using the correct proword from the regulation, (100-3, Attachment 1, if anybody cares) I answered, "I SPELL India: India..." (pause)
He laughed. "Do you really?"
"AFFIRMATIVE. I SPELL India: India November Delta India Alpha."

Treading Water

I feel like I've been treading water the last few weeks, and I'm only halfway through. I will only be home one weekend in August and one in September. Like Jonathan Bing, "home's the best place for all people like me." During the week, I'm trying to re-establish some semblance of routine and illusion of order. BB is driving me to distraction. He's not uncooperative, his mind's just not on his work. It's been a constant struggle, but it seems to be worse lately.

GL has had relatively few meltdowns, but they've been big ones. Yesterday, he wasn't calming down, even with medication. He went for nearly two hours. I almost took him to the hospital. That evening, I had to take him with me to Civil Air Patrol because our sitter was out of town. I couldn't miss that meeting because I was teaching a class. It was close enough to bedtime that I gave him his bedtime med as soon as we got there. He was relatively quiet, if a little goofy. I was still uneasy about bringing him, but I had no other option. Then today was Goldilocks vs. the Dentist.

On the lighter side, Understanding my son posted Coming Full Circle. Be sure to follow the link, Duh! to the earlier post, Teaching Sass. And Arby posted a children's story with a happy ending that made me laugh out loud. As Mama Bear said, "Don't read Arby when you've got to pee!"

A Little History

A funny thing happens when you comment on blogs. Every once in a while, someone reads your comment, clicks on your profile, and starts reading your blog. You can't count on it. You may leave dozens of comments and get no response, let alone new readers, and one day you leave a comment that intrigues or pleases one or more people, and suddenly people whose comments or blogs you've admired leave admiring comments on your blog. That has happened several times recently, and I have received many kind and encouraging words. Thank you all.

I thought it would be nice to welcome new readers with an introduction, or rather a Contradiction and a post or two to give you the general flavor.

Oh, I should also mention that this is actually not my blog, it is a family blog. I just happen to post the most often. And I strive for balance: this is not an autism blog; it is a blog about life. Neither is it an autism-free zone (obviously) because autism is a big part of our life as a family. While working hard to see that GL gets what he needs, the rest of us, Mama Bear, Brother Bear, and I, also work at having a life outside of autism. I've seen what happens to people who don't. It isn't pretty.

Finding Missing Aircraft for Relaxation

Caring for GL wears on me over time. I relax by looking for missing airplanes. I'm a member of the Civil Air Patrol. One of our emergency services missions is locating missing aircraft. We were called on a mission Monday evening. We'll also be working the EAA Fly-In at Oshkosh this weekend.