Question of the Week returns

I participate in several Yahoo groups related to homeschooling, disabilites, and other topics. One of the group moderators had started posting a "Question of the Week" as a discussion starter. I enjoyed reading the questions, responding, and reading the responses, but it took time away from blogging. Since the topics were generally related to the topics I blog about, I decided to post some of my responses here. Shortly after,   the moderator found herself busy with other obligations, and the Question of the Week fell by the wayside. She's back, and has given the Question of the Week its own Yahoo group.

Usually the question is a single sentence, but this week we have some background story:

I am having a day where I would like to scream, yell, and cry all at the same
time. My kids are fighting non-stop--actually escalated into a fist fight and
school is completely unproductive today.

I have older teens, so I run into great difficulty when it comes to coming up
with disciplinary measures. My kids have activities almost every day and
evening--and I would love to remove them--but other people depend on my kids to
participate in them, such as being Cub Scout Den Chiefs. So I feel that taking
those things away would really be more of a penalty to the others that depend on
them. I have thought about removing computer, cell phone, electronic games, but
I am not sure how effective that would be.

I don't take the approach that "boys will be boys"--and I do generally
discipline them; but apparently what I have done in the past is not working; and
I am really frustrated today with my kids.

I don't know if they just need a break from each other as they do spend so much
time together and do nearly all of the same stuff. I can't figure it out; I
just know that I feel like a parental failure today.

I need some creative ideas.

What do you all do for disciplinary measures in your home?

You can read the responses there. Here's mine:

My boys are 14 and 12, and they excel at annoying each other. When one of them wants attention or is just bored, he finds his brother and tries his most effective annoyance techniques, one after the other, until he gets a response. Despite hundreds, perhaps thousands, of repetitions, he is still surprised when his brother finally gets mad and yells at him. It just never seems to occur to either boy that:

1. Although these behaviors get attention, it may not be the kind of attention he wants.

2. If he annoys his brother enough, his brother will get mad.

3. When his brother gets mad, he will yell at him, and possibly hit him.

4. This will make Mom and Dad unhappy.

5. Mom and Dad are already unhappy with him, because his brother is supposed to be doing schoolwork, and even if his brother has kept his temper so far, he is distracting him.

6. If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

7. He started this whole process, and could have avoided it by leaving his brother alone. 

The brother who started it thinks the other brother started it by hitting him. To him, bringing up what he did is only changing the subject. If we keep bringing the conversation back to what he did, he will finally admit that he did something, but minimize it: "All I did was tickle his neck."

Neglecting to mention (even refusing to admit, if it's pointed out) that:

1. Brother hates having his neck tickled.

2. He knew this, and did it anyway.

3. He had already done 47 other things specifically designed to annoy his brother.

Punishment has not been effective, since each boy believes he is entirely innocent, and we are punishing him for his brother's actions. We do point out the above-mentioned facts, and maybe, with time, repetition, and maturity, they may begin to sink in. Perhaps the boys will someday allow the possibility that we might be right on one or more points.

In the mean time, they have work that needs done. If they are both working, I put them in separate rooms where I can keep an eye on them, but they can't see or hear each other. If one of them finishes before the other, he is allowed, and on most days required, to find a quiet activity in a place where he can't bother his brother, and his brother can't bother him. 14 yos usually goes to his room to watch a DVD (with headphones). 12 yos usually goes to the basement to play LEGO. We've recently discovered (with his concentration issues, who'd have thought?) that 12 yos can take his schoolwork to the public library (two blocks away) and actually be focused and productive. 

Once they have both finished their schoolwork for the day, they usually get along better. If they don't we separate them.

Question of the Week

QOTW: Do you include outdoor time and nature study in your homeschool? If so, how do you incorporate it? How much time do you spend doing this?

We use the outdoors for PE, walking, running and biking around the neighborhood. We also take hikes in a state park five miles from our house. We take note of wildlife when we see it.

When we moved from the city (we put up a bird feeder, and no birds came) to to a small town surrounded by farmland, we wanted to take advantage of the increased opportunities to observe nature. At first, I put out peanuts for the squirrels, but it turned out to be harder to keep them away than to attract them. Rabbits are also frequent visitors. I wish I could keep them away from my garden. We had an unusual visitor last year. I grabbed my camera and managed to snap a photo before it ran away. We decided later that it was probably a badger.

I hung a feeder with a seed blend the bird feeding specialty shop recommended for the birds in our area. Ignore the seed mixes marketed to attract a particular species or mixture of species. With any mix, the birds will pick out their favorite seed and throw everything else on the ground. If you want to offer two or more types of seed, put them in separate feeders. I read up on which foods attract which birds, selected the two that would attract the widest variety, (suet and  black oil sunflower seed) and hung feeders with each. I also read that offering water without food will attract more birds than offering food without water. I decided to offer both. The key is to offer water when it's hard to find. A birdbath heater keeps it from freezing in winter. For the health of the birds, offer clean water. Change the water at least once a week, and scrub the birdbath when it starts growing algae. Bleach works best.

I fed the birds so we could observe and enjoy them, so I hung the feeders under the eaves in front of the picture window in the living room, and cut off the perches on the side away from the window. If the birds want our food, they have to perform. I placed the birdbath so we could see it from the kitchen table. Once the birds started showing up, we bought bird books to identify them. Goldfinches were the first to visit our feeders. When a new variety appears, we grab the books.

We also got Birds of Wisconsin Audio CDs. There is an edition for each state. I sorted the birds by season, and made complilation CDs for winter, spring, summer and fall. I had the boys listen to the appropriate CD for the season during their daily memory work the first year. The second year, we did the same with Reptiles and Amphibians of Wisconsin. Yes, our boys can identify frogs by their calls.

We're no biologists; we have not done any organized or in-depth study of the animals we see. But it's remarkable how much we can pick up just by noticing animals as they appear and keeping a few references handy to answer questions as they come up.

Question of the Week

I subscribe to 83 Yahoo groups. Some of them are mostly inactive; some I only check when I have a question; but there are a fair number that I subscribe to as daily digest. Several of the home schooling-related groups have the same moderator. She posts a question of the week (QOTW) to all her groups to keep discussion going, (members are invited to suggest topics/questions) and gathers the responses from all groups into a pdf any member can download.

When the question is interesting, I may spend an hour or more composing a reply. That cuts into my blogging time. I think I'll start posting some of my responses here.