BB made a birthday card for GL

It's not always easy being your brother,

But I will always love you, to infinity and beyond!

Wow! Another Award!

Kathleen at Autismherd just gave me an award. Here are the rules:


"1. You must proudly display the absolutely disgusting graphic that I have created for these purposes. It's so bad that not only did I use COMIC SANS, but there's even a little jumping, celebrating kitten down there at the bottom. It's horrifying! But its presence in your award celebration is crucial to the memetastic process we're creating here.

2. You must list 5 things about yourself, and 4 of them must be bold-faced lies. Just make stuff up, we'll never know; one of them has to be true, though. Of course, nobody will ever know the difference, so we're just on the honor system here. I trust you.

3. You must pass this award on to 5 bloggers that you either like or don't like or don't really have much of an opinion about. I don't care who you pick, and nobody needs to know why. I mean, you can give a reason if you want, but I don't really care.

4. If you fail to follow any of the above rules, I will harass you incessantly until you either block me on Twitter or ban my IP address from visiting your blog. I don't know if you can actually do that last thing, but I will become so annoying to you that you will actually go out and hire an IT professional to train you on how to ban IP addresses just so that I'll leave you alone. I'm serious. I'm going to do these things."

Okaaayy... since the picture was so nauseatingly cute:

1. I once lit a firecracker to see if I could cut the fuse with scissors before it exploded the way they do in cartoons. That's how I learned the difference between slow match and quick match fuses.
2. Once, when I turned on a lamp and it didn't light, I put my hand in the socket to see if the bulb was there. It wasn't.
3. I built an electric motor for a science fair project that was supposed to run on 12 volts d.c. It didn't work, so my dad suggested hooking it up to 120 volts a.c. It exploded.
4. I used to ride on the trunk of my dad's car while he did doughnuts in the church parking lot.
5. I scored over 150 on an I.Q. test.

I'll pass this on to Basic Instructions, Great White Snark, What Sweeter Music, Snippets 'N Stuff, and Nobody Wants to See Your Booty.

Taking Liberties with my Privacy

I intentionally never put my phone number on FaceBook. Just because I friend someone on FB doesn't necessarily mean I want them calling. They can send me a message through FB, or email me. That's enough.

Facebook disagrees. So much so, they somehow tracked down my cell number and posted it to my profile. I don't know where they got it, but I never gave it to them. Two problems: 1. If I don't want to give someone my home phone, why would I give them my cell? 2. It's an old number, so no one could reach me at that number anyway.

Goldilocks Visits the Dentist

I took GL to the dentist yesterday. Today I'm recovering. Actually, the dental checkup itself wasn't as bad as I'd feared. Our dentist is the gentlest, kindest, most engaging man I’ve ever met. He reminds me of Mr. Rogers. Goldilocks absolutely loves him. When he knows he has an appointment, he says, “I get to visit Dr. N., my dentist? Hooray!” and runs to the car.

But it wasn’t always this way. At first, Dr. N. was not sure he could handle a patient with autism. He referred him to a “pediatric/special needs” dentist who he said would give him a sedative. He teaches at the state university dental school, but he didn’t feel comfortable prescribing a sedative, because he felt that was outside his area of expertise.

The “pediatric/special needs” dentist was horrible. She refused to give the sedative she had promised, and instead, put her knee on his chest and told Mama to hold his legs, all the while scolding him for being “naughty”. He was so terrified, she couldn’t even do a basic exam. Mama Bear promised Goldilocks he would never have to go see that mean lady again.

When we reported this to Dr. N., he was shocked, and said he would never refer anyone to her again. He also agreed to give Goldilocks a chance. He scheduled him for a slow time of day with his gentlest, most patient hygienist. At the end, he came in, introduced himself, shook hands, and sent GL home with a big bag of trinkets. With each visit, he did a little more of his usual exam, eventually working up to a cleaning, complete exam, and x-rays.

But Dr. N is retiring. For the last several months, he's been gradually turning his practice over to Dr. G. She's been seeing more and more of his patients, and he's been gradually reducing his hours. He's down to 1-2 days a week. And GL doesn't like change. So at the end of his last visit, we scheduled this visit on a day both dentists would be in. On the way to the dentist office, I told him that Dr. N had a friend, Dr G, who is also a dentist. She is very nice, and she works on my teeth. Would he like to meet her? He thought he would. Alerting him to upcoming changes is a delicate balance. His anxiety is increased by both too little notice and too much.

GL giggled during his cleaning. He said it tickled. But he held my left hand so tight, I had to switch to my right, because my wedding ring was cutting into my finger. Then he started moaning. The hygienist was worried, until we figured out that he was singing.  Occasionally he'd forget to keep his mouth open, so I'd say "Ahh" to remind him. So he started singing "Ahh-ah-ah-ah!" I said he sounded like Tarzan. He started beating on his chest. The hygienist laughed, and asked him if he liked swinging on vines. He laughed, and said he did.

After his cleaning, Dr. G came in to meet him. He wouldn't make eye contact, or even look in her direction, but he shook her hand and talked to her, which is a step. Then Dr. N came in and did the exam. He and GL joked about Tarzan. Dr. N keeps bird feeders outside his exam room windows. It gives patients something to look at, and helps them relax. GL looked at the birds and said, "Hey, birds! Here are some cookies!"  I explained that he was quoting Frog and Toad. Dr. N said, "That's one of my favorite books. My wife says I'm a little like Toad."

He shook our hands and left, and the hygienist came back to give GL a fluoride treatment. He handled it pretty well, despite being tired of having so many hands and tools in his mouth. At one point, he yelled, "Hey, birds!" Come get your fluoride treatment!"

All the way home, he kept asking if we could go to the library for DVDs. We did have to make one other stop first, but that boy cannot take yes for an answer! At the library, he followed his usual routine: As soon as he was in the door, he yelled, "Hey, librarian, do you have anything in for me?" Then he threw his returns on the counter and ran back to to the children's DVDs without waiting for an answer. Sigh. We're working on it. Really.

Last several visits, he's had a new problem. He grabs three or four DVDs and runs back to the circulation desk to see if he has anything in. If he does, he leaves me to check out, and goes back to grab a few more books or DVDs. If he doesn't, he yells at the librarian, and then runs back and grabs as many DVDs as he can carry. He'll keep running back and grabbing more if I don't stop him. It's not like he watches all the DVDs he checks out. Every day, he insists the discs he checked out the day before are old, (even if he hasn't watched them) and he needs new ones. Since we only live two blocks from the library, and walking to the library is the only way I can get him to exercise, we go every day it's open. Even though he checks out the same DVDs over and over, they are "new" each time, and he is satisfied for the rest of that day.

Even the most patient and understanding librarian, who doesn't mind scanning ten DVDs every day, even though she knows he doesn't watch them all, wants him to leave enough DVDs for others to check out. So I've been making him choose some, and put the rest back. This time, he started screaming at me. And the librarian. About how we were taking all his DVDs away. About how we would never let him go to the library, ever, ever again. We were done checking out, so I hustled him toward the door, while he screamed all the way. As we were going out, we met the head librarian coming in. She reminded GL to zip his coat, because it was cold outside. He yelled at her, too. Outside, he kept screaming at me. About how I took all his DVDs. (Never mind the two bags he was carrying.) About how I would never let him go back to the library. About how he needed to go back right now, and apologize to the librarians. He usually "apologizes" by screaming at people. Not today, Zurg! Once I got him across the highway, I walked away. He can cross the less busy intersections on his own. He chased me, but even chasing someone, he doesn't walk very fast. He continued screaming at the whole world, but it was easier to tolerate from ten yards away. I did watch for traffic when he crossed. There wasn't any. Once we got home, he asked me to put on a DVD, and eventually calmed down.

Keeping Warm

The whole family have colds. I don't usually feel too bad just sitting around, but as soon as I try to get up and do anything, I'm tired and out of breath. And this morning I woke up with a sinus headache that won't go away. I did manage to shovel the part of the walk I wasn't up to finishing yesterday. I even got GL to help a little. He's got more energy than anyone else, and wants to go, go, go! The forecast calls for snow tomorrow, followed by freezing rain, followed by more snow. The rest of the week looks like cold with occasional snow. Time to stay close to home and make chili.

Here's my recipe:

Gringo Chili
1 lb. ground turkey
1 medium onion (Dehydrated minced onion keeps longer, doesn't need chopping, and works just fine.)
2 T chili powder
2 cans (15 oz ea.) kidney beans, rinsed and drained
2 cans (10.75 oz ea.) tomato soup

Chop the onion to the desired size. Some people like big chunks. Others like it so finely minced, it almost dissolves. Brown the ground turkey along with the onion and chili powder in a soup pot. Why dirty an extra pan? Add the beans and tomato soup, plus one can of water. Bring to a boil, stirring occasionally. Continue heating until chili resumes boiling as soon as you stop stirring. Optional: garnish each serving with a handful of crushed Corn Chex. (The off-brand works just fine. Stir it in, and it gives a flavor like crumbled corn bread in your chili, but without the fat.) If you're a real wimp, cut the chili powder in half. It's best to let each person salt and pepper his or her portion to taste. I usually make a double batch, because that's what fits in my soup pot, and refrigerate the leftovers in individual portions in Smart Spin containers.

Anatomy of an ADHD/SPD Baptism

Anatomy of an ADHD/SPD Baptism Interesting post. Thoughts?

Why Spelling Matters

365

That was the number of my last post. Since starting this blog on January 3, 2009, with the post Contradiction, we've posted, on average, almost one post every two days, despite occasional silences. Not bad for wondering if we had enough to say to maintain a blog. I might go back and repost some highlights on occasion. I've found blogging a good way to stay in touch with friends and family, and made some online friends along the way.

No Tsunamis!

When GL takes a bath, he always splashes an excessive amount of water on the floor. (I caught him several times sliding up and down the length of the tub, trying to see how big a wave he could make. Now we have a rule: No tsunamis in the bathtub.) But every time I remind him not to splash so much, he starts whining, "Are you saying I can never take a bath, ever, ever again?"

Flu Ride

at least it's not this bad...

Flu Ride
by Bob Rivers
to the tune of Sleigh Ride


Just hear those noses snifflin’
Sore throats ticklin’ too
Come on it’s lousy weather
To be sufferin’ inside with the flu
Outside the snow is fallin’
Your fever’s at 102
Let’s take some Alka-Seltzer
And a box of antihistamines too

We’ll bring some Kleenex with us
And sing a chorus or two
Let’s let my red nose lead us
In a sleigh ride in spite of the flu

Hack it up hack it up fling it up let’s go
Phlegm chunks in the snow
We’re coughing up a yellow and green rainbow
Cough it up cough it up cough it up oh man
There’s some on my hand

My glands are puffed and swollen
And every hour I pee
My throat’s as rough as leather
And raspy as it can be
Let’s take some Kleenex with us
And sing a carol or two
We’ll make our noses redder
On the sleigh ride
To go with the flu

My kid came home from preschool with a cough today
He’ll infect the whole darn neighborhood in about a day
Well be calling in sick to work until the diarrhea stops
At the pharmacy we’ll get lots more pills to pop
Pop pop pop

I took every medication I can legally buy
For coughing sneezing sniffling and the watery eyes
I’ll be gettin’ real drunk on NyQuil
I’ll take Contac ‘till I’m high
This wonderful buzz is great
But I’m glad I don’t have to drive

Just hear those noses snifflin’
Sore throats ticklin’ too
Come on it’s lousy weather
To be sufferin’ inside with the flu
Outside the snow is fallin’
Your fever’s at 102
Come on it’s lousy weather
For a flu ride together with you

Creeping Crud

We all have the creeping crud here. I'm tired, but I can't sleep. Read a few blog posts last night, but was too tired to get far. How far behind am I? Google Reader will only tell me 1,000+ posts. How many +? Who knows?

If you say so...

GL: Hola means "hello" and "goodbye"... in French.

Goldilocks' story by Brother Bear

Brother bear was sitting on the couch looking through his book. Then, Goldilocks ran into the room. He jumped up on the couch next to Brother Bear. He put his finger on the page and said “A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far far away..” Brother Bear interrupted “Goldilocks stole Brother Bear’s bookmark and now he can’t read his book, because he doesn’t know where he is” “No!!” said Goldilocks “ Once upon a time, I didn’t” “You didn’t? “asked Papa Bear. “ I didn’t do what Brother Bear said. Amen!” he concluded.

Happy Holidays

The ancient Hebrews celebrated several festivals throughout the year to commemorate God's deliverance, protection, and blessing. The pagan nations around them celebrated festivals to their gods, many of which personified natural forces and events. Christians retained some of the Jewish festivals, added some for events in the life of Jesus and in the early church, plus numerous saints' days to remember the lives and good works of holy men and women. We as twenty-first century Americans also set aside days to celebrate the things we truly believe in:

January - New Year's Day - Drunkenness
February - St. Valentine's Day - Lust
March - St. Patrick's Day - Drunkenness
April - Easter - Gluttony
May - Mother's Day - Gluttony, Memorial Day - Anger
June - Father's Day - Greed, Gluttony, Flag Day - Pride
July - Independence Day - Pride
August - No holidays, most common month for vacations - Sloth
September - Labor Day - Envy, leading to Anger, "Patriot Day" (the 11th) - Anger
October - Halloween - Evil, Gluttony
November - Thanksgiving - Gluttony
December - Christmas - Greed

God Bless have mercy on America!