Resting at Last!

 MB and BB spent the morning getting organized and starting to pack for camp next week. It's a camp for people with disabilities and their families. GL will have a one-on-one buddy to assist him as needed with each activity. MB will go to the Moms' group, and not have to worry about him. BB will be in a mixed group, some disabled and some sibs, but a different group from his brother. It's the only way to convince him he's "off-duty". No, we don't ask him to look after his brother, but he tends to think of himself as a third parent, despite our efforts to convince him otherwise.

I think we are starting to feel a bit better, but we still all have the sniffles and feel tired and out of sorts. GL never admits to being tired, sick, or in pain. He just gets irritable and looks for someone (usually BB) to pick a fight with. He wouldn't stop annoying everyone, hitting his brother, or hitting himself, so I gave him his PRN. It didn't seem to help. He insisted that he felt fine (as usual) but I noticed a cough and a sniffle, so I gave him Tylenol and Benadryl. MB had some errands to run, and she took BB so they could both get a break.

GL would lie on the couch, start to close his eyes, then hop up and run to another room. A minute or so later, he would be back on the couch. I put on some music and convinced him to take his shoes off. Then I went to the kitchen and started preparing a batch of soup for the Crock-Pot. In a few minutes, he was asleep. He never sleeps during the day. I know we may pay for it tonight, but I think it's worth it.

P.S. He's up now, but he slept for an hour and a half in the middle of the day. I think he needed it.

Fall Cleaning Day 1 and our Family Camp-Out

We started right after breakfast on cleaning the shed. Took everything out, swept it, threw out all the junk, put back in all the good stuff, and organized it. Then we started on our bedroom. Not a deep cleaning, more of a get-ready-for-deep-cleaning cleaning. You can't clean clutter. It's hard to clean around clutter. You can't even organize clutter. We got everything off the floor put away or thrown away, decluttered all horizontal surfaces, removed all the debris on the bookshelves so we can actually get at the books, put everything back in the closet and dressers that belongs there (it's a tight fit--decluttering those is part of deep cleaning) and ran the vacuum. Finished before lunch.

After lunch, we brought the boys' winter clothes up from the basement and had them try everything on. Then we packed all their summer clothes away and put winter clothes in drawers and closet. Found that GL has been hiding dirty laundry in his drawers, mixed with the clean--again. That partly explains why their room has had its own B.O. lately.

We try to have a family camp-out every year in September. The week after Labor Day is usually ideal: the weather is still usually pleasant, but not too hot, and we have the campground pretty much to ourselves. This September was too busy. Every day MB had off, we had to be somewhere else. We had planned to go camping tonight, until a cold front moved in, with near-freezing temperatures predicted. So we decided we could have a campfire in the backyard, but forgo sleeping outside. So after we got the boys' clothes put away, I dragged out the portable fire-pit thingy. When you get a good fire going, the radiant heat from the bottom of it is enough to kill the grass underneath, so I set it on the walk on the north side of the house, trying to position it not too close to the house, but not under the big tree. Then a strong wind came up. I went inside and checked the weather report: wind from the north at 21 mph, gusting to 39, with scattered showers. November's not a good month for pretending you don't have a house. Sometimes October isn't, either.

So we ate inside. We had chips and dip and brats cooked on the stove rather than over an open flame, but still pretty good. GL was bummed about not camping out, so after supper, BB set up the tent in the living room. First time he did it all by himself.

Then we all listened to The Johnny Cash Children's Album, which I 'd just got from the library. The boys enjoyed it, and we did, too. Over the last couple of years, I've been finding more and more Johnny Cash songs that I like. What I want to know is, why don't the people who are always trying to tell you how great Johnny Cash was ever play any of the good Johnny Cash songs?

I think before bed, we'll toast some marshmallows over the stove again and make s'mores. It works better than you might think.

Hooray! GL learned to use scissors today!

Goldilocks has many struggles with fine motor skills. We've been focusing on the most essential, but trying everything, and cheering and encouraging any success, however small. Scissors was one I'd just about given up on. He tends to hold the scissors backwards, with the blades pointing toward him, and even when we can get them turned around, he rotates his wrist so the blades are parallel to the surface he is trying to cut. Then the thing he wants to cut just slides between the blades, and he is once again convinced that the task is impossible: these scissor things just don't ever work! And since we're not doing a lot of kindergarten art projects, there are more urgent skills to work on.

He loves microwave popcorn. He can safely run the microwave (it has a popcorn button); he just needs to get the bag of popcorn out of its plastic outer wrapper first. Sometimes the end of the wrapper is two layers fused together, and relatively easy to separate. Sometimes there is a small notch to make it easier to tear open. Others are difficult or impossible to open without a knife or scissors. He was trying to open one of the latter packages this morning and asked for help (a good sign to begin with). I was about to do it for him, when I thought, "Let him try. What can it hurt? If it doesn't work, I can still open it for him."

So I handed him the scissors, and with verbal instructions and a little help with hand placement, he snipped a notch and tore open the package! Hooray! He may or may not be able to do this next week, tomorrow, or even later today, but at age 13, he successfully cut something with scissors for the first time!

And what better way to say "I love you." than with the gift of a... stapler?

Yes, I know, the correct answer is supposed to be spatula. And I sent Mama Bear a virtual spatula as a thank-you. I even gave her a spatula with the Spatula City label on our wedding day, and she carried it proudly in her bouquet.

But I've been envying Arby's stapler ever since he posted about it. So, when Mama Bear asked what I might like for Father's Day, I had to think for a moment. She suggested cash because she knows I am saving for a computer. She has an obsolete laptop that can check email, and that's about it. My computer is somewhat more powerful, but it's nine years old, and the boys are needing it more and more for school. And I really would like to have a laptop. But the more I thought about it, the clearer it became that what I really wanted was a stapler like Arby's.

So I asked for one. She had to go to three stores to find it, but oh, was it worth it! I won't try to describe it, because Arby has already described it so eloquently. But it's red. And it's metal. And it opens out flat if you want to staple something to a bulletin board. And it doesn't care if I'm stapling two sheets or twenty, it expertly joins them with a satisfying "ka-chunk." Let's do that again slowly: "kut-a-chunk".

And she didn't even make me wait for Father's Day. She said this was just an "I love you" gift. As if that weren't enough, she managed to score us a free hotel night and get Grandma to take the boys. But guess which weekend? That's right, June 19-20.

She was bummed that it meant we'd miss celebrating Father's Day as a family. So we celebrated last Sunday. She asked what I'd like for dinner, but nothing sounded quite right. Then I thought of steaks on the grill. So we swung by the grocery store after church, and she selected some, and told me not to look at the price tags. Then she volunteered to cook them. That's the thing about grilling: I'm as big a pyro as the next guy, (No, let's be honest here. I'm a bigger pyro than the average male.) but I hate to cook as much as I love to eat. So I set up the grill, and she grilled the steaks. Sirloin and mashed potatoes—does it get any better than that?

Yes, it does. Mama and the boys set up a treasure hunt that afternoon. They broke the money for my gift into fives, hid them, and gave me clues. They gave me the first clue as a freebie. In each hiding place was a fiver and the next clue. The first clue read: "You're a great Dad. You are good at many things. We have hidden your gifts to test your finding skills. Your first gift is hiding in a musical spot."

Then I heard, "Yoo-hoo! I'm hiding!" (pause, followed by a giggle and then another pause,) "Boing-boing!" (pause) "I'm over here!" (more giggles)

On top of the piano, behind some CDs, I found that goofy talking Easter Egg. When I opened it, it said, "Surprise! You found me!" (more giggles)

Inside was the first fiver and the next clue: "Look for your next gift under the object that makes the 'ka-chunk' sound."

Found that one right away. The next clue read, "All of this finding is tiring. Maybe a strong drink would help. Your next gift is hidden where you would make yourself a strong drink."

Sure enough, it was in the basket of my four dollar Goodwill espresso machine. The next clue read, "Your next gift is inside the wordiest gift you have ever given me."

I ran straight to the shelf, pulled out the dictionary, and began riffling through the pages. I first realized she was something special when she asked for a dictionary for her birthday. She later told me that she had asked for one several times before, but no one else had ever believed that was really what she wanted.

So I get to celebrate Father's Day three weeks in a row. I got a stapler that would make Tim Taylor proud, a steak dinner, twenty bucks for my computer fund, and a free hotel night with my wife.

At this point, all the men are wondering, "Papa Bear, what did you do to deserve such a wonderful wife?"

And that's just the point. I don't.

Math: the Continuing Saga

GL is still working on 1 + (number). If I ask him, "What comes after (number)?" he usually gets it right. He even occasionally translates 1 + (number) to what comes after (number) on his own. But he usually counts from 1 unless I remind him. He's also making fewer counting errors.

I got a pot of beef stew in the Crock Pot yesterday, but it wasn't done until 8 p.m. I let it cool and put it in the fridge. This morning I transferred it to Smart Spin containers, and put the crock in the dishwasher. I'll try to get another meal in the Crock Pot today. We got the boys' summer clothes in boxes, but not neatly enough to close the boxes. Next we need to pack them up neatly, carry them down to the basement, and make them fit. The basement is, of course, a whole 'nuther project. It's sunny and relatively warm today, so maybe I should do the windows while I have the chance.

The car started making a funny noise Sunday. Then vibrating at certain speeds, then the check engine light started flashing. Took it in yesterday, and found out it had a bad ignition coil. This model has a separate coil for each cylinder, mounted directly over the spark plug. The guys who design these things should have to work on them. $83 for the coil, and $194 labor. Ouch!

Fall Cleaning

We've been slowly ramping up GL's new med this week. He's still not getting all the sleep he needs, but he's getting more than he was. He's still frequently unpleasant, but more tolerable than before. I even had a decent night's sleep one night—the first in months.

I read with envy the chicken soup exploits of the Domestic Goddess. I can throw together a pot of chili that's edible (the chili, not the pot) follow a simple recipe, and even improvise if I find I'm missing an ingredient or two. But when it comes to planning a meal that: (pick any two)
1) we haven't had three times already this week
2) can be made without a special trip to the grocery store
3) can be on the table soon enough to qualify as the next meal, so we don't have to skip a meal
4) my family will actually eat,
we RazzleFlabben couldn't think of a cardboard box. And while you're at it, could you make it economical, nutritious, high in fiber, and low in fat and calories? Sometimes I wish this were an old-fashioned full-service gas station. (Or service station. Remember those?) All I'd have to ask is, "Regular or Premium?" (or Unleaded for those people with fancy new cars) and, "How many gallons?"

Feeding GL is relatively simple. He has self-limited his diet to Kraft Macaroni & Cheese, Jif peanut butter & Great Value Strawberry Preserves on Sara Lee 100% whole wheat bread with the crusts cut off, Corntown extra butter microwave popcorn, and Dean's chocolate ice cream. He eats at random intervals, but at least he usually knows what he wants. If you think he eats this way because we cater to him, you've never lived with autism. He makes his own sandwiches, but I cut off the crusts. If I don't, he tears them off, and throws away more bread than he eats. He spreads some peanut butter and jelly on the bread, and a little on the counter. Whoever decided to carpet the kitchen must not have had kids. You can mop a hard floor, but how do you get jelly completely out of the carpet? My feet are always sticking to it. He pops microwave popcorn. I'm not ready to let him use the stove or scoop his own ice cream.

BB is simply a picky eater. Even his favorite foods he will sometimes eat and sometimes not. When I cook, I make enough for him, but it's up to him whether he eats it or waits for the next meal. MB works a split shift, so she eats with us once a day at most. And she's on a special diet. So although I've already cooked for GL, unless I want Mac & Cheese again, I'm cooking for myself. With limited time, energy, and creativity, I need a plan. I've heard good things about Once a Month Cooking and Dinner's in the Freezer, but I haven't got a whole day to spend on cooking, not even once a month. We've had some success with the Crock Pot slow cooker, because I can make a big batch and reheat portions as needed, but lately, when I need a meal, I need it now, not three or four hours from now. I just haven't had the energy to plan that far ahead. So we end up eating the same three recipes over and over.

Today I was somewhat more rested, GL hurried through his school work (he was eager to watch a movie) and BB got down to business, and mostly left GL alone. So right after lunch, I got to work on some slow-cook potato soup. It was ready in time for supper. After supper, I even got the rest of the soup into Tupperware (actually Smart Spin containers. Dishwasher and microwave safe. They nest together on the included carousel and all three sizes use the same interchangeable lid. Buy these and throw all your mismatched Tupperware away!) and the crock in the dishwasher before bedtime, so I can make up a big batch of something else tomorrow. At this rate, I'll always have a selection of meals in the fridge that I can microwave in a few minutes!

After I got the soup in the Crock Pot, I felt so good about it, I started my Fall Cleaning. "Don't you mean Spring Cleaning?" you ask, "and isn't this the wrong season?" No, I mean Fall Cleaning. After you've been cooped up in the house all winter and are beyond cabin fever, ready to go stir crazy if you have to spend one more minute within these four walls with these impossible people, can you think of a stupider way to use the first warm, sunny spring day than inside, cleaning house? And who's going to notice, anyway? As the weather improves, everyone wants to spend more time outdoors. By the time you're back inside for any appreciable time, the house is already dirty again.

Now on cold, rainy days in October and November, when you just had all summer, and usually some good weather in September to be outside, you don't miss being out there; you've had your fill. It's not that cold out yet, but it's wet and windy. Your domestic environment is showing signs of months of lick and a promise housekeeping. You have summer clothing and equipment for summer activities to put in storage. You have stuff that has somehow multiplied when you weren't looking and is beginning to crowd you out of the house. The look of the place has gone from lived-in to depressing. And you'll be spending the majority of your time indoors for the next few months.

Quick, before Thanksgiving, when you'll get too busy, pick an area and get to work on making it more livable. Move the furniture and vacuum under it instead of just around it. Declutter! Gather up the stuff you don't use or love and donate it. If no one will take it, throw it away! "But I spent money for this!" you say, "I have to keep it to get my money's worth!" That money is already lost. Don't throw good money after bad. You will be richer without it. We call this process "making the house bigger". Just think how much it would cost to build an addition that would give you the added space you get from clearing this stuff out. Now think of the added taxes you'd pay to earn that money. And the added property taxes on your house for the added space. And the added income tax on the money you earn to pay the added property tax. By clearing stuff out, you're getting all that added space for free!

Before you think I did this all in one day, let me say I only started on one room. The kitchen. I dusted, which I do once a year. I vacuumed that nasty carpet. I moved the fridge and the dishwasher and vacuumed under them. I cleaned the outside of the dishwasher, microwave, fridge, and oven, I wiped down the countertops and stove top and cleaned the sink. If I have this kind of energy tomorrow, I'll start cleaning the inside of things.